“The hardest war to win is one you don’t even realize you are fighting, and the hardest enemy to defeat is the one you don’t even know exists. Every day you are at war with resistance.” – Matthew Kelly, “Resisting Happiness”
Lately, I’ve been tapping into the parts of my day where I encounter resistance. No, not outward resistance – not my two children, or my boss at work, or the laws I don’t always want to obey. I’m referring to inward resistance, between my two ears.
If I’m honest, I don’t get very far in my day before I find some struggle like this. Oh hey, Mr. Alarm Clock – I hear you loud and clear. I had a good reason for setting you and every intention to awake at your sound, but something in me is resisting you so badly. Enter snooze button. Enter excuses. Enter compromise. Starting the day with a failure.
LATHER. RINSE. REPEAT.
I know the project that needs to be completed at work – but my phone is buzzing, a new email! I know it would make my son’s day to play a game with him – but I just want to change out of my clothes and relax! Thoughts of resistance follow me every where I go. If you’re honest with yourself, I believe you’ll be able to find several instances of resistance throughout your day as well.
NAME YOUR RESISTANCE
The sooner we name the resistance, the sooner we learn to conquer it. We can’t fight an enemy we don’t know exists, right? My resistance is settling. Settling for a lesser version of myself. A version of myself with no dreams or goals. No aspirations for his kids or family or career.
I admit that settling is comfortable. We know what it’s like – heck, most of the time, we learn to live with it quite comfortably. And if we do it long enough, the resistance that we once felt just fades away completely.
DON’T DOWNGRADE YOUR DREAM
My current dream is to run 2:45 in the marathon before 2020. It’s very specific. It does not fit very well with my current reality, however. This takes an enormous amount of training, and I have a full-time career with a family of four! Not to mention I am recovering from a stress fracture. But I refuse to downgrade my dream to fit my reality.
Nothing great was ever achieved by thinking small. I’ve also encountered a lot of internal struggle since I decided to become a coach. Any entrepreneur can empathize with all the obstacles, particularly mentally, with starting a business! But if you want something, you’ve got to be relentless in your pursuit. You’ve got to fight resistance at every turn.
RACING WITH RESISTANCE
Tim Noakes popularized the concept of the ‘central governor theory.’ One implication is that when we are at our physical limits (ie: in a race), it is not actually our physical limitations that slow us down. Instead, it is our brains which interpret the physiological signs of the body, like heart rate, and send signals to the muscles to literally slow them down.
Even our bodies are wired with this idea of resistance! Our brains are telling us that we can’t go any further as we try as hard as we can to resist. Noakes’ theory is that if we can teach our brains to overcome this struggle with the body, we can actually take our bodies to greater limits.
The logical take-away from this may be that mental preparation for race day may be just as important as any physical preparation. It is very interesting research, to say the least, and I’m looking forward to seeing where it goes.
WELCOMING RESISTANCE
Now that I’ve named my resistance, I’m learning how to fight it more effectively! Rather than seeing it as a warning sign, I welcome the struggle now. Why? Because, I know that means I’m getting closer to my goal. As Denzel Washington said, “Ease is a greater threat to progress than hardship.”
If resistance started to leave me, I would know that I’ve settled for a lesser dream. I have legitimate questions and doubts about whether I can ever reach 2:45. I welcome those concerns as evidence that my dream is big enough!
